Universities Weblog

Poor, poor grandmothers: every semester, dozens of them suddenly pass away, most often around the time of a big test or when a major paper is due.

Of course, grandmothers truly do pass away, and students deserve absolute sympathy at that time, but it is simply statistically impossible for so many grandmothers to leave this earth at the same time.

Every semester on the first day of class, I offer my students a mock-serious warning: Please note the days your final papers are due. I'm sorry to say that these will be horribly dangerous days for your family members, as many of them seem to experience serious injury or even death on these days. Please warn them to take extra precautions.

The speech always gets laughs and a few guilty glances. Sure, it's funny, but what exactly does the dead grandmother epidemic signify?

According to this excellent article from Inside Higher Ed, it signals a time of welcome creativity. The more outlandish a student's excuse, the more a professor is inclined to enjoy, and accept, it.

I love outrageous excuses as much as the next person - and the general aspect of student follies of various kinds still delights me. Sometimes, bracing myself for a student who is going to step up with an excuse about some past or future absence, I try to project an aura that suggests: "All right, since we know what's going to happen, let's see if we can get through this with some wit and intelligence as well as sympathy."

But it seems to me we seldom do.

So students: use those skills you're learning in college, and move beyond the dead grandmother epidemic.

What are the best excuses you've ever given?

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